LIVING LIFE IN THE SLOW LANE

Benjie and Friends

Off to India in 3 days...

Have not packed yet. Madami pa naman oras. Besides, hindi ko pa din alam kung ano ang dadalhin klase ng damit. Limited wardrobe na nga dahil lumobo na ako ng husto, ang dami pang considerations --- nandyan ang sobrang init ngayon doon (37 degC), formal na medyo informal (dahil sa mga ministro lang naman ang ka-meeting), travel ng travel (dami na agad warning about sa trains). Worried sa pera.

First stop will be in New Delhi. Ang average rate ng overnight sa isang hotel aabutin ng 11,000++ Indian Rupees (in Phil pesos, almost 11,500++). Yung sa akin, 13,000++ may luxury tax, hindi kasama ang airport transfer and wala breakfast yan. Ang babayaran 14,625 Indian Rupees (that is, $345.67 or Php15,208.08)! Stopover lang yan. Wala pang 8 oras ko hihigaan ang kama. Kung pwede nga lang sa airport na lang.

14 days @ 7,250++ Indian Rupees (Php7540) per night. Yan ang dapat ko pa bayaran for the next leg of the travel. Hindi kasama ang food dyan. Hindi kasama ang land travel. Hindi kasama ang laundry. Walang wifi. Sana naman may libre coffee at tea. Sana din may matinong bottled drinking water.

Walang choice. Ganyan talaga kamahal sa India. Hindi uubra ang powers nina Benjie and Friends.

Sana maging express ang tulong galing sa sundalo ng America. Sobrang good luck and best wishes talaga to me.

Claims?

Thee may sound morbid but thy are instructions (family, friends, others) in case a similar fate befalls thee:

1. Thou shall not agree to any resettlement or waiver. Let the court decide the just and fair compensation;

2. Thou shall get the best lawyers for thee (c/o Cynthia's siblings and Milette G.). The remuneration can be covered by item (1); and

3. Thou shall not endevour to retrieve thy body. Thee rather be entombed in the sea and than be retrieved whilst no person can agnize thy body.

n_i_n_e_t_t_e has updated her Friendster Blog

Need magsipag. Need rumaket.

• Mahal na ng gasolina - ikain na lang sa Jollibee ng burger steak or ng spaghetti kaysa i-glug, glug, glug lang ng makina ng kotse. Ang MRT, fx, bus and jeep ang mga bago ko ka-tropa nagyon. Jologs na jologs nga lang ang dating ko and wala talaga ka-glamour glamour ang makipagsiksikan sa madlang people pero need and i-psyche na lang ang self that it's going to be worth every centavo saved.

• Mahal ng school service ha - my golly, eh syempre parang system loss ng Meralco yan. Pass to the consumer ang cost ng gasoline. Sige, ayaw mag-school service? Baka naman mas malaki pa ang gastusin sa hospital pag nasagasaan sa pagtawid ang mga precious.

• Dysfunctional digestive system - laging gutom ang dalawang sundalo. Kulang pa daw na baon sa maghapon ang: 2 tinapay, 2 C2 500 mL, 1 bote mineral water, 1.5 tasa ng kanin at sangdamakmak na ulam. Kahit na kalde-kalderong kanin ang kinakain sa umaga at bandehadong meryenda ang kinakana pagdating sa hapon. Buti na lang andyan ang canteen ni nanay.

• Bahay-ng-kalapati-in-the-making - malapit na!!!!

• Ford Everest - yung kulay blue din. Pero makikisakay na lang ako kay Cynthia, mahal na din ang diesel hahahaha.

• Unang milyones sa edad y trienta'y singko - in english first million at the age of 35. CASH. In tagalog, kash. In USDollars (pero realistic ako kaya in pesos na lang). Yup, O*N*E M*I*L*L*I*O*N C*A*S*H. Not in term of properties or assets. Basta cash sa bank. At sympre dapat wala din utang o liabilities.

Eksena sa Umagang Kayganda this morning: meron silang segment sa show kung san they get poor people and kung ano ano makabagbag damdaming kwento at makalubag loob na background music. Ang siste, a celeb or an ABS-CBN talent will donate something to swap for money/goods na kailangan ng (exploited) poor people. Kanina, mag-asawa na may 6 na anak. Ang tatay nakiki-extra sa tricycle. Ang nanay ewan. Ang kwento ng buhay nila nakikihiram ng kaldero sa kapitbahay para makapag-luto sila. So kung hindi ipahiram, eh wah sila tsibog. To make it mas nakakaawa natangay pa ni Frank ang bahay nila. Ang hiling ng nanay, kaldero daw.

Ang iPod ni Korina Sanchez, kapalit ay kaldero. Syempre ang mga dupang na sponsors, kanya kanyang donations na "livelihood showcase" (eh hindi nga kaya pakainin ang mga dyunakis, mag-tinda pa kaya ng produktong wala naman nakakakilala?). Si Donita, donate ang tsinelas nya.

Ano ba?!?!

Ako lang ba ang hindi natutuwa?

Oo sige, may natutulungan ang show. Hindi "nagbibigay ng pera" kundi kabuhayan ang bigay nila. Pero naman, stop, look and listen. Ang laki-laki ng katawan ng tatay at haler, ang buhok ng nanay de-kulay. Atsaka wala sila makita trabaho? Ang laki ng katawan nila noh. Nakakaya nga nila gumawa ng sangkaterbang bata!

Eh bakit may nagtya-tyaga mag-walis sa EDSA, may traffic enforcers, at madami pang iba? Punta sila sa ilalim ng overpass sa QAve and EDSA, araw-araw may pa-training dun sa mga walang makitang trabaho.

Wala naman yumaman na instant. Kahit ang mga nanalo sa lotto at suwipistik, nagtyaga ang mga yan pumila (meron nga ba nanalo dito?). Si Manny Pacquiao, bago magkaroon ng milyon milyon yan katakot takot na bugbog ang inabot ng katawan at ulo nyan. Even Bill Gates, nagpuyat at nalipasan ng gutom yan bago naging milyonaryo. Madami na akong nasaksihan sa mga tauhan ng nanay ko. Hindi nakatapos ng pag-aaral ang karamihan pero pag nagpakita ng kasipagan, tyaga, maging honest and appreciative sa kahit na anong blessing, dadating ang panahon na makakaalwan din.

Mahirap ang buhay. Kahit sino (dollars man o peso ang sweldo) ang hirap ng buhay ngayon. Lahat ng pagtitipid gagawin para makaraos. Pero kung iaasa na lang sa swerte o sa ibang tao talagang wala mangyayari. Hindi masama mangarap. Yun na nga lang daw ang libre eh. Kaya lang dapat kumilos.

So bottomline... back to work. Neet to act for my first milyon in cash.

If

If you can start the day without caffeine,

If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,

If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,

If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,

If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,

If you can overlook it when those you love take it out on you when, though no fault of yours, something goes wrong,

If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,

If you can ignore a friend's limited education and never correct him/her,

If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,

If you can face the world without lies and deceit,

If you can conquer tension without medical help,

If you can relax without liquor,

If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,

If you can honestly say that deep in your heart you have no prejudice against creed, color, religion, gender preference, or politics,

THEN, you have ALMOST reached the same level of development as your dog.

What am I up to these days?

Had dinner with Peachy, Chee-Anne (and the husband-to-be), Dei and Au. Natawa lang ako sa comment na meron palang nagkaka-interest kung ano ang pinag-gagawa ko ngayon. Hindi naman daw sya affected (o ayaw pa-apekto?) pero interested lang daw sya malaman what am i up to these days.

Wala naman nagyayari sa akin, yun pa din...

Busy sa ADB - dalawa ang projects na hawak. Consultant chuvanes chenes ek-ek. Pareho intermittent. Meaning pagkatapos, wala na naman. Naloloka dahil grabe ang pressure pero at least may output and sigurado may outcome. Hindi pwede pumalpak dahil lagot ako sa nag-refer! [Hi Mama Dei :-)]

Teacher-teacher-an sa UP - yup, walang kokontra. Hindi GE (general educ) subjects ha... as in Chemical Engineering subject. Oh yes, pardon my hangin pero I am prawd tu da maksimum lebelaysus. Kaya ko pala at yung mga komokontra, makibalitaktakan na lang ako sa mga students koitsch. Next sem magtuturo daw ako ulit (calling the attention ng mga ibabagsak kong pasaway hehehe) and other subject, hopefully Envi Engg naman. Sa mga gustong maka-uno, saturday ang schedule ng classes ko.

Nagpapakadakilang ina - kokontra si nanay hehehe. Pero yun na yun. Ano pa ba ang magagawa ko kung ang panganay ay magti-teen-ager na pero feeling binata na at yung kasunod ay 11 years old na pero feeling 8 years old pa din.

Healthy Mind, Awesome Body - ah hindi pa ito, matagal pa. Oki na muna ang healthy mind! Papa-appointment pa kay Dr. Vicki or sa mag-asawang Calayan, pwede din sa doctor of the stars, Dr. Mendez or kay Marie France hahaha. Wala pa andash to make the pa-effects pero happy with the heyr, the fez, the teeth and the ...

Lablayp, sekslayp, and other laybs - kailangan pa ba itanong itish. Wala ganun pa din. No further explanations needed. May friendster accounts na si Kyle at si Gaeb hahaha.

Wala talaga nangyayari. . . papunta-punta na lang sa Tagaytay Highlands para mag-ubos ng gasolina at laspagin ang Ford Everest ni Cynthia para bibili ulit ng kapalit this year (take note ha, binili ni Cynthia yan HINDI company car!). Patulog-tulog para hindi mapressure sa kabi-kabilang speaking engagements and invitation para sa lectures. Pahiga-higa para hindi mahilo kaka-compute ng pera sa bank (dahil wala talaga natitira hahaha!).

So sa nagtatanong... wala ako masyado ginagawa. At kahit madami man akong pinagkakaabalahan, I will still find time for you. Interested ka naman pala kung ano nangyayari sa akin, eh bakit nung nagkita tayo hindi ka makatingin sa akin?

A Blessing-Magnet?

A year ago, I was just counting my days as a Consultant in ADB. Although my mind was set to finish my graduate studies, hindi maitatago ang kaba and takot because it was the first time wala akong mailipatan na work. I have a townhouse to pay monthly, I have kids to send to school, I have my fixed expenses... bottomline, san ako kukuha ng pera?

No regrets, sa nakaraan na halos isang taon ko nakita at naramdaman ang totoong mga kaibigan. Sa panahon na yun bumuhos ang napakaraming blessings --- na-appreciate ko ang parents ko, mga kapatid at ang mga taong katulong namin sa hanapbuhay. I never felt closer to my kids and no amount of money could equal the satisfaction of spending time with my kids and mga pamangkin.

Eto na yata yung period na napakaraming nagawa: meron na akong MS Degree (hindi na kokontra si Volt!), laging kompleto sa tuog at kain (wala na nga kasya damit sa akin), konti lang nabili ko shoes (2 or 3 lang nga eh), walang international travel (pero dami domestic, not the usual places and I was paid to go there), true friends (alam nyo na kung sino kayo), new friends (ramdam nyo naman hindi kaplastikan di ba?)...

Highlights pa:

- Got hired in a high-paying job but turned it down, hindi ko feel ang makakasama ko sa work. Those who were privy to my US-AEP days know what this is about. I buried the hatchet BUT mabuti na din yung huwag na lang than have an axe to grind.

- I was (am?) an "other woman" - cannot, will not and shall not elaborate for the sake of the parties involved. Pinakamahalaga nag-enjoy, nagkaintindihan, and naayos.

- Inaway ako ni Manny sa Puerto Princesa - nawala ang poise ko dun! Sobra. Pero okay lang, nagkaintindihan naman kami and alam ng lahat kung ano ang totoo dahilan. Sa totoo lang, natatawa na lang ako nakakalasing pala talaga ang Cali (Oiiii, walang friendster account si Manny at wala direct access sa blogs, ang mag-tsika, aawayin nya sige!)

- Loan approved for my property in Fairview. Six more months...

- Senior Lecturer at THE University of Philippines, teaching THE ChemEngg 32 subject (Industrial Stoichiometry).  Never in my life I imagined magtuturo ako! No, hindi bumaba ang qualifications para makapagturo. Nagkataon lang nakita ako ni Doc Ernie pakalat-kalat sa UP, so ayun binigyan ako ng teaching load. Ganun lang. (Face value? hahaha!)

- Ako si Mechora Aquino, a.k.a "Tandang Sora"

- New car for Cynthia (on top of the newly renovated farm house and literally, fruitful ekta-ektaryang manggahan), GTZ Contract for Voltaire (Shutaks prend, I really miss you nah!), sandosenang raketship para kay Daisy, new baby for Sheila D, Ed O., Rica L., promotion for Sheila B, well-being for Tito Geri, seksi and boy-magnet pa din si Jov, bonggeysyus pa din si Au , madami hindi mamemention dahil sa space and timw limitations. Basta ang important dun lahat tayo blessed!

- etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.

Pumasok ang 2008 ang pera ko sa bank pang-minimum maintenance balance lang. Ano ang halaga ng pera kung wala ka naman kaibigan, kapuso at kapamilya? Meron nga dyan Php250,000 per month ang sweldo pero (ooopppssss!). . .  Okay pa din, nairaos na ang tuition ng kids, braces ni Kyle at wala naman utang. At, nagpa-rebond pa ako ng heyr!

Sa ngayon, eto naka-upo na naman sa ADB. Salamat sa iyo, Daisy --- maraming, maraming, maraming salamat for believing in me. You are such a blessing to me. Alam ko mas madami blessings kapalit dadating sa iyo. Sana dumami pa ang lahi mo sigurado napakasaya at maayos ang mundo.

Ang kulit, pero nag-uumapaw talaga ang blessings. Kung minsan nakakapagtataka din. Reap what you sow ba? Ewan. Admittedly, maldita at hindi ako santa. Sabi nga ng nanay ko tamad-tamad at tulog-tulog lang ako. Hindi din halata na mabait ako. Hindi ko din maexplain. Amazing!

I'll end with excerpts from Bo Sanchez's article, "How to be a Blessing-Magnet" (click this link for the complete article). Believe me, the strategies really work!

How to Be a Blessing-Magnet:

6 Strategies on How to Be Positive in A Negative World

1. Feel the Love. Receive the love from the people around you, no matter how small or imperfect. Celebrate every little gesture of love you receive. Make it a big thing! And you'll discover that you'll receive more and more love.

2. Be Grateful. Give thanks for every small blessing you receive. Before going to sleep, count at least 5 blessings you received on that day. Be grateful even for the bad things you received on that day, knowing there's a blessing inside. Gratitude attracts more blessings to come your way.

3. Trust. Yes, do all you possibly can! But at the end of the day, stop worrying. Surrender and trust God instead. Believe that the best is yet to come.

4. Have a vision. When you have a detailed graphic, exciting vision burning in your heart, you can't help but be positive. That powerful vision in your imagination will attract all the blessings you need to fulfill that vision. You'll be surprised. The blessings will just come, rolling down at your feet, begging that you receive them.

5. Love yourself. Be deliberate in loving yourself. Respect yourself. Don't belittle yourself, don't limit yourself, and don't call yourself derogatory names. Meet your needs. Aggressively care for yourself. When you do, others will respect you, love you, and meet your needs as well.

6. Love others. Whatever love you give, you receive it back multiplied. So wake up each morning because you want to love. make love the purpose of your life. When you make love the reason for everything that you do, even if there are dark storm clouds around you, the sun will always shine in your heart.

How big are you?

Does size really matter?

Find out here. (click the link)

Sa mga mata ng bata...

My elder son was bugging me about the real name of "Tandang Sora". Not satisfied with my response, he further asked its correct spelling. I felt he's started to rely much on me for his homeworks so I told him to look for references before asking me again (I trained him and his brother to work on their own and would only ask for assistance if they've done everything they could do).

After an hour, he handed me this essay:

Click image to enlarge

Siya si Ninette P. Ramirez, ang aking nanay. Siya ay 33 yrs old na. Siya ay ikinokumpara ko kay MELCHORA AQUINO o "TANDANG SORA". Siya ay ikinokumpara ko kay Tandang Sora, dahil katulad ni Tandang Sora na ginamot ang mga sugatang Pilipino, ay ginagamot niya rin kami ng kapatid ko kapag may sakit kami. Pati rin si Tatay ay ginagamot. Matulungin din siya katulad ni Tandang Sora. Tinutulungan niya kami ng kapatid ko kapag kami ay may mabibigat na problema kahit ano man ito. Kapag kami ay naliligaw ng landas ay siya ay ang ilaw at gabay pabalik sa tamang landas. At syempre tulad ni Tandang Sora ay matapang din ang ina ko. Kapag kami ay ina-api o sinasaktan ay lagi nya kami pinoprotektahan kahit sino man ang nananakit. Lahat din ay gagawin niya upang matiyak na kami ay ligtas. At tulad ni Tandang Sora na gagawin ang lahat para sa kalayaan ng bayan, siya naman ay gagawin ang lahat para sa ikabubuti namin ng kapatid ko. Siya ay hindi umuurong sa mga biro ng tadhana at siya ay laging handang lumaban para sa kabutihan namin ng kapatid ko.

A season, a reason or a lifetime?

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you will know what to do for that person.

(Please click here to continue)

I must have done something good

I lost my cellphone in NAIA last Saturday. Until now, it's still baffling because I was so sure it was inside my *pink* bag (I was wearing pink shoes, by the way).

I don't use my phone in public places unless I need to meet someone or I am waiting for an important message. I usually place it inside the most secured pocket in my bag*. I just keep it on almost-max volume so I know if somebody is calling or has sent a text message.

It was early in the morning and there were only a handful people in the airport  counters. I just stood behind the queue and  let my companions do the check-in tasks. My companions and I then went through the usual security protocols and decided to have our breakfast near the designated waiting area. I only noticed that my cellphone was missing when I reached for it to send a text to Nanay.

Read more...

Can somebody explain pleeeezzzz????

From Jessica Zafra:

AQUILINO Q. PIMENTEL, JR.
Senator of the Republic
Tenure of Office: 2004 to 2010

"At the Senate hearing into the ZTE broadband deal, Senator Nene Pimentel asked this question: 'Ano ba ang broadband? Can somebody explain this in layman’s terms?'"

From Ninette's Diary:

ROBERT S. JAWORSKI
Senator of the Republic
Tenure of Office: 1998 to 2004

At a Senate inquiry regarding a mine tailings spill in Placer, Surigao del Norte:

Senator Jawo: Can the Senate be enlightened kung ilan ba ang tumapon galing sa tailings pond?

Taga-Placer: Mr. Senator, the estimate is 700,000 tons

Senator Jawo: Madami ba yun?

Taga-Placer: Yes, Mr. Senator. 1 ton is equivalent to 1000 kilograms.

Senator Jawo: Ah ganun ba? In layman's terms, ilang litro ng Coke yun?

RAMON B. REVILLA, SR.
Senator of the Republic
Tenure of Office: 1998 to 204

In the Erap Impeachment Trial:

"I concur, your honor. You see, may timbangan ako ng manok sa bahay. Doon ko nga nalaman na 96 grams ang 1000 na bills ng 1000 pesos to make 1 million pesos. See 96 grams? 96 grams talaga! Malapit yun sa isang kilo...eh sa 96 grams talaga eh..."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yes, oh yes... paki-explain nga, please.

'Housewives' Filipino joke draws ire from Yahoo!

A scene in TV's "Desperate Housewives" that used Philippine medical education for a punchline prompted angry calls from viewers, an online petition demanding an apology and criticism from Philippine officials.

Viewers called the network to complain but the number of callers wasn't available, an ABC spokesman said Wednesday. As of Wednesday evening, more than 30,000 names were attached to an online petition seeking a network apology.

<read na lang the rest sa website>

Opinyon ko lang itish <ang kumontra, gumawa ng sariling blog ha!>

1. What's the big deal??? Can't we just take it as plain humor? Oki, oki, oki... hindi ako doctor (engineer nga ako eh) pero mas matitindi pa nga ang inaabot na jokes ng mga lawyers, at yung mga graduate ng ibang schools (ano na nga name ng mga iskuls na yun --- AMA ba yun? Lasal? Areneyow?) --- may nagdemand ba ng public apology?

2. At ano ang pauso ng iba after the public apology, ang gusto naman magkaroon daw ng episode praising the competencies ng mga doctor from the Philippines???? Haaaaaallllleeeerrrrrrr, ano ba itish. Sobrang insecurity na yan ha. Enuf, enuf, enuf.

3. Worth ba talaga maging hedlayns ng newspaper itish???? --- dyos ko dey, eh tanungin mo nga nagtitinda ng dyaryo kung alam nya ang "Deyspeyreyt Hawswaybs" na yan? Sa totoo lang ha, even the major newspapers made patol patol on the issue. Wala na ba talagang matinong basahin ngayon kundi ang mga advertisement.

4. Ano na nangyari sa ibang issues na nakabandila ng mga nakaraang araw???? - hindi kaya pinalaki lang issue para matabunan ang ZTE-NBN blah, blah, blah. Hindi ba mas maganda magsimula din email chain chuvaness and ask for all the pipol sabit sa gulo to make pubic apology????? Hooooiiiisssssstttt, pakers poopoo kau, pira ku yan inuubus nyu.

5. Vakit mi afiktid? Ay rili du nat knowing so plis sambadi ekspleyn?

 

Prayers

God: Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

- Evan Almighty (2007)

Pasasalamat - Thesis Acknowledgment

The thesis has been an inspiring, very challenging, but always interesting and exciting experience. I am very grateful to my advisers, Dr. Ernesto O. dela Cruz and Dr. Donato S. dela Cruz, for the patience, encouragement, many fruitful discussions, and never giving up on me. I would also like to express my sincere thanks to Dr. Cherry L. Chan for her invaluable advice. I am very grateful for the technical and financial support, great opportunity, and unique experience of working with her and the AFR team. Many thanks and heartfelt appreciation to:

- Dr.Malou Dalida and Dr. Baby de Leon – for sharing their expertise and helping me improve my work;
- My bestfriend, Cynthia – for the 20 years of true friendship;
- My friends, Voltaire, Daisy, and Manny – for the constant prodding to finish my MS, for helping me hold my ground, and for believing I could soar high;
- My EMB, USAID/US-AEP, and ADB/CAI-Asia families – for all the sleepless nights, resistance-building, energy-draining and emotional-wrecking moments that prepared me for the ordeal during the manuscript writing;
- My friends who kept me awake 24/7 literally and figuratively; and
- My treasures, John Gaebriel and Kyle Ian Matthew - for the inspiration and for showing me the true essence of being a parent.

Finally, I wish to thank my family for their continuous love and encouragement, for always believing in me, and for never failing to provide all the support. Nanay and Tatay, maraming, maraming, maraming salamat po for always taking care of me and my kids kahit pasaway ako.

Senyales?

Friendster Daily Horoscope
Monday June 18, 2007
Leo

The Bottom Line

Your next achievement is likely to be very significant, so aim higher than ever.

In Detail

Your next achievement is likely to be very significant, so aim higher than ever.

Go figure!

Six ways to spot a workplace psychopath

Manila Bulletin (March 25, 2007: Section K-3)

(click images to enlarge)

 

Reveal Your Subconscious Mind - Tickle's Original Inkblot Test

Ninette, your subconscious mind is driven most by Peace

You are driven by a higher purpose than most people. You have a deeply-rooted desire to facilitate peacefulness in the world. Whether through subtle interactions with love ones, or through getting involved in social causes, it is important to you to influence the world.

You are driven by a desire to encourage others to think about the positive side of things instead of focusing on the negative. The reason your unconscious is consumed by this might stem from an innate fear of war and turmoil. Thus, to avoid that uncomfortable place for you, your unconscious seeks out the peace in your environment.

Usually, the thing that underlies this unconscious drive is a deep respect for humankind. You care about the future of the world, even beyond your own involvement in it. As a result, your personal integrity acts as a surrogate for your deeper drive toward peace and guides you in daily life towards decisions that are respectful toward yourself and others.

Though your unconscious mind is driven most strongly by Peace, there is much more to who you are at your core.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tickle's Original Inkblot Test - Traditionally a closely guarded test administered only by trained psychologists and based on the original Rorschach test, this is the first and only inkblot test of its kind.

Tickle's Inkblot test is free, it's private, and it's developed by PhDs.

In the course of the test, you will be asked a number of questions about 11 different inkblots. There are no right or wrong answers on the test. All that is needed is to give the response that most closely matches your feelings or observations about each inkblot.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, what drives your subconcious mind?

A Nut’s Life

February na and I have not updated my blog yet. (Manny, Daisy and Volt – apologies, I just need this one out of my system. Pagbigyan nyo na ako, isang blog lang then back to the kasunduan “no thesis, no blog”)

I’ve always wanted to start a “goodbye old year, hello new year” thing which I envisioned to become a tradition. It would be my best way to look back and learn from the mistakes then plan for the year ahead and beyond. This thought was inspired by Maya’s emails every new year (for this year a blog post) sharing her life events from the previous year. Maya has somehow started something among her friends and even if one another don’t see or meet that often there will always be an established connection. (BTW, Nina has also posted something similar :-))

Yun nga lang I spent the whole Christmas vacation regaining strength and energy lost from the months-long preparation for the conference in Yogyakarta, Indonesia. Most of the time I was sleeping and would only get up if I need to go to the toilet to take a bath or do some other stuff then went back to sleep again. I could not remember if I even ate anything decent during those times but the weight gain and extra inch (es!) might be good references.

During my waking hours (which usually during bath time), I looked back to the things that matters to me most and tried to fit them into my plans for 2007. I had several wake-up calls in 2006 that really made me stop and re-evaluate the significance and essence of things.

Wake up calls

Dean Guevara’s Secretary – More than six years since I first enrolled again in UP for MS Environmental Engineering. If I don’t finish this semester sayang ang pera, pagod, puyat at mga ni-ruler na mga grades ko . Sa UP Engineering, pag nakalagpas ka ng Maximum Residency Rule (MRR – 5 years for graduate courses) siguradong mangongolekta ka ng pirma from your professesors, Department Heads at 100% pipila ka sa labas ng Dean’s Office for the approval of the MRR extension. Pag minalasmalas mai-interview at mapapagalitan ka pa ni Dean pero hindi palibhasa nasermonan sigurado ma-a-approve ang request. This semester ako ang lumakad ng request for extension (my sister did it the first time for me) and doon ko naranasan mapasama sa line ng mga kung sino-sino at ano-ano may problema pwede para ma-kick-out na sa Engg. Sa panahon ng enrollment kesahodang presidente ka pa ng Pilipinas, lahat dadaan sa process at pare-pareho lang sa mata ng Dean - - - lalo na ang babaeng sekretarya nakabantay sa labas ng opisina ng Dean. Hindi ko alam if sobrang pagod lang ako, it was the way she treated people or her way of looking at us nung nasa line sa labas ng Dean’s Office but there is something that made me think well and decide to finish my thesis.

Currently, I am doing the write-up and I have a better appreciation of my thesis. I am almost there and I can already feel the “Master” thing. Ngayon pa lang nagpapasalamat na ako sa nanay at tatay ko dahil hindi nila ako ginigising sa umaga (ang tulog ko 4 am – 8 am), kay Cynthia for volunteering to copyedit the final write-up, kay Manny and Daisy sa pagbabawal sa akin mag-blog, kay MM, malaking tulong ang review of related literature, kay Voltaire (see “Master Voltaire” below), kay Jeng sa pagtakbo sa National Bookstore para ibili ako ng nond paper at binder clips, sa mga nagtyatyaga magtext para may kadamay akong gising sa madaling araw at madaming madaming madami pang iba (May special blog entry para sa inyong lahat, pramis).

Master Voltaire – Ayaw ba naman ako kausapin dahil “Master” na daw sya at wala daw karapatan makipag-usap ang isang “Draft”. (Voltaire has been recently recognized by the International Honor Society of Pi Gamma Mu for his academic excellence. FYI, only a few of the UP students with average of 1.25 above are selected for recognition. Friend, hindi ka lang “Master”, hindi lang basta dala-dala mo na ang tatak ng UP sa noo mo pero isa ka ng certified full-blooded nerd!). Dahil sa iyo nagising ako sa katotohan na kailangan ko na tapusin ang thesis ko at kahit anong gawin ko hindi ako nerd.

House forfeiture – When I started working in US-AEP in 2004 and earned enough to have the freedom to own a property, una ko naisip ang bahay. Ayaw ko ng car thinking that in five years time depreciated ang value while the house and lot for sure will be at least 20% the original value. Meron na din naman kaming sasakyan at I don’t mind taking public transportation. Heeding the advice of Cynthia’s dad, I decided to get two pre-selling townhouses in West Fairview Executive Homes. The location is strategic and the deal is really good since the contractor agreed that the 50% downpayment for each unit can be paid in two years. Almost half of my month’s salary went to payments. However I missed some payments during the time may problema sa marriage. I thought that the amount due was settled when I paid all past dues plus the current amount. I have not heard from the contractor and assumed that the houses are already being built. Months beyond the promised turn-over dates wala pa din sign kahit man lang isang poste ng bahay wala eh tapos na ang 50% downpayment ng dalawang units. I intentionally did not pay the succeeding amount (starting June) because I wanted to know kung ano ba nangyayari. Unfortunately because of the workload and trying to balance my life as a single mom hindi ako nagkaroon ng oras to discuss with the contractor. Bottomline, I received a letter last November that all of my payments are being forfeited! Ang sakit sa ulo but I am proud I handled it well. We are now in the process of recomputation and in lieu of the two townhouses, I have now a house (smaller but) in a better location and what is important nakatayo na. Madami pa ipapaayos, I still have to pay about 30% of the contract price, maghanap ng pera for the capital gains tax, document stamps, transfer of title at for installation of the water and electric meters. But still, I already have a house. Moral lessons: (1) there is no such thing as being busy when your hard-earned money is at stake; (2) always, as in always, pay with checks; (3) get your bank statements regularly; and most importantly (4) have a friend like Cynthia, pwede na iyakan puro lawyers pa ang kapatid.

OTP – pinakamatindi sa lahat! Don’t worry mga anak, wala na work si mommy kaya araw-gabi magkakasama na tayo J

--------------------------------------------------------------------

To be continued...

Things that will not make me feel guilty

Moving on

Things I am missing

Things will miss most

Things I am looking forward to

Living, Loving, and Learning

We are not evil, inadequate or incompetent when our relationships fail. It may have been that we were simply overconfident about them, not adequately prepared for them or unrealistic in our expectations of them. Not all relationships are right. As long as values change, insights expand, human facades remain impenetrable and human behaviors unpredictable, we will make mistakes.

The very measure of a good relationship is in how much it encourages optimal intellectual, emotional, and spiritual growth. So, if a relationship becomes destructive, endangers our human dignity, prevents us from growing, continually depresses and demoralizes us – and we have done everything we can to prevent its failure – then, unless we are masochists and enjoy misery, we must eventually terminate it. We are not for everyone and everyone is not for us.

The question is, "If we cannot be with another, can we at least not hurt them? Can we, at least, find a way to coexist?"

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

There comes a time in some relationships when no matter how sincere the attempt to reconcile the differences or how strong the wish to recreate a part of the past once shared, the struggle becomes so painful that nothing else is felt and the world and all its beauty only add to the discomfort by providing cruel contrast. – David Viscott

"One cannot give what he does not possess.
To give love you must possess love.
One cannot teach what he does not understand.
To teach love you must comprehend love.
One cannot know what he does not study.
To study love you must live in love.
One cannot appreciate what he does not recognize.
To recognize love you must be receptive to love.
One cannot have doubt about that which he wishes to trust.
To trust love you must be convinced of love.
One cannot admit what he does not yield to.
To yield to love you must be vulnerable to love.
One cannot live what he does not dedicate himself to.
To dedicate yourself to love you must be forever growing in love."
-- Love by Leo Buscaglia

"Sexuality and loving intimacy are not necessarily synonyms, though not mutually exclusive. Sexuality can be totally divorced from any semblance of love. It can be simply an act of genital satisfaction....Without the essential ingredient, the expression of love and affection, the sex act is totally devoid of primary benefits such as prolonged security and satisfaction; this can be achieved only in complete physical and emotional union."
-- Loving Each Other by Leo Buscaglia

Saying you're sorry, when appropriate, is an extremely healing and nurturing thing to do. It's seen by the recipient not as a sign of weakness, but of strength. It clears the air and opens the door to forgiveness and a fresh start. It brings trust, integrity and humility into a relationship, three of the most beautiful qualities two people can share."

--Don't Sweat the Small Stuff in Love

"What's the purpose of being with someone who is emotionally shut down? Staying in a relationship with a person who cannot share feelings is a form of self-punishment....You deserve to have someone in your life who shows you his love and appreciation on a consistent basis. The opposite of emotional generosity is emotional stinginess--hoarding love and emotions as if they were in a limited quantity and offering you tiny pieces of one's heart...Unless you want a full-time job as a teacher, avoid relationships with emotionally stingy partners!"
--Are You the One for Me? by Barbara De Angelis, Ph.D.

"If you want to make the human connection in a loving relationship, tell me often that you love me through your talk, your actions and your gestures. Don't assume that I know it. Compliment me often for jobs well done and don't downgrade but reassure me when I fail. Don't take the many things I do for you for granted. Let me know when you feel low or lonely or misunderstood. It will make me stronger to know I have the power to comfort you."

--Loving Each Other by Leo Buscaglia

"Starting each day I shall remember to communicate my joy as well as my despair so that we can know each other better. Starting each day I shall remind myself to really listen to you and to try to hear your point of view and discover the least threatening way of giving you mine, remembering that we're both growing and changing in a hundred different ways."
--Living, Loving and Learning by Leo Buscaglia

Happiness or Security?

How can you love a person who has no time for you? How can love thrive on that? Is it better to be with a person that loves you than the person you love?

The chances of having a successful relationship become greater when you are with a person who loves you more than you love him because he would do anything to make you happy and comfortable.

A relationship with a man you love more may really please you but it will make and take greater effort on your part just to keep him.

Sometimes it doesn't help to calculate too much.

Love cannot give a guarantee of permanence. It can only give you the opportunity to do your best to nurture it.

All I Need to Know I Learned from a Taxi Driver

May topak ang MRT last week. Good thing my officemate, Aga, was still at the station when I texted her my location (it's a practice to inform her or CH if I will not be able to make it by 9am). In just a few seconds of sending my SMS, she called to say huwag na  ako bumaba ng taxi para iyon na ang sakyan namin papunta Ortigas. Hindi magandang idea dahil mukhang baguhan pa lang ang taxi driver magmaneho. Hindi nga alam na from Visayas Ave to  Kamuning MRT Station ang daanan ay East Ave or Quezon Ave. Sobrang mabagal talaga and alanganin ang diskarte sa kalsada. I told Aga baba pa rin ako sa station then hanap na lang kami ng ibang taxi. Nagbabayad na ako nang may isang babae na nagkakakaway - - - si Joy, another officemate, hwag na daw bumaba at mahirap magtaxi dahil madami kakumpetensya. Bottomline, yung taxi na rin na yun ang sinakyan namin papunta Ortigas.

+++

As expected sobra ang traffic sa EDSA. Sira na nga ang MRT, hindi pa tapos ang pagbaklas ng mga billboard. Usad pagong talaga. Ang mamang taxi driver lagi naka-segunda ang gear kahit na from complete stop. Lahat kaming pasahero nya marurunong mag-drive kaya kulang na lang palitan na namin sya o mag ala-driving intructors para turuan ang mamang driver.

+++

Tuwing naliligo sa umaga ang pagkakataon ko pag-isipan ang maraming mga bagay-bagay na nangyayari sa buhay ko. Sa mga oras din na yun nabubuo karamihan ng mga ideas at plano ko sa buhay. Siguro yun ang oras ko na para lang sa sarili ko, walang pressure kung paano at gaano katagal ako kumilos, kung ano man o kung kailan ko gusto matapos sa ginagawa ko.

Kaninang umaga naisip ko madami pala ako natutunan sa experience na yun. Kapag narating na ang ganitong edad, normal na pakiramdam na kaya gawin halos lahat ng bagay. Kaya mag-multi-tasking. Naka-acquire na ng experience and lessons to go through life with more mature perspective. Feeling a-little-but-not-yet-a-super person yata talaga lalo na kung ang edad wala na sa kalendaryo.

+++

Madami ako napagdaanan and natutunan in the past two years of my life. Mahirap at masakit but I realize I have more reasons and blessings to be happy and thankful. I really appreciate ang mga magulang, kapatid at kaibigan kaya I've moved on and a lot happier now.

I feel more capable, empowered and confident but tulad nga ng taxi driver, even if I know where I am headed but if I don't ask for directions I may not be able to reach my destination. There are situations that we are surrounded by better and more capable people and they don't usually offer help agad-agad thus if I don't ask for it then I might never get it. The best lesson I've learned is that no matter how hard I try to get things going if I dont start from the 1st gear, I will go nowhere.

À coeur vaillant rien d'impossible.

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back.

But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

Nothing is impossible for a willing heart.

Paano mo masasabing unique ka?

Facts:

1. Estimated world population as of June 9, 2006: 6,520,686,668 (6.52 billion)

2. Estimated population ng Pilipinas as of June 9, 2006: 89,468,677 (89.47 million)

3. Projected population ng Pilipinas sa 2040: 141,096,582 (141 million)

4. Projected population ng National Capital Region (NCR) by 2040: 13,788,000 (13.79 million)

5. In 2000, the Philippine NSO projected that by 2003, 3 babies will be born every minute

Kapag nalulungkot o nalulumbay o iniisip na walang pag-asa ang buhay, laging sinasabi ng mga katsokaran: Easy lang, there is hope. Kaya yan. Espesyal ka. Yunik ka. Yu ken do it. *hik!*

12:43pm - At this exact moment in time how would you say you are unique? Ano ang meron ka na wala ang 6.52 Billion na tao sa buong mundo o 89,468,676 pipol sa Pilipinas? Ano ang special sa iyo ngayon at hanggang magpakailan man (sige hanggang 2040 para related to the abovementioned facts). Maalala mo kaya kung ano ang mga ito makarating man sa dulo ng mundo o tuktok ng Mt. Everest?

Three decades pa lang ako nabubuhay pero paunti-unti nalalaman ko na bakit ako special at unique. Hindi dahil byuti and brains with charming personality and so fun to be with (madami ang pwede mag-claim nito) kungdi sa tingin ko na ako lang nagkataon na merong ganito:

• Tiger + Lion = Ninette

Until now I am still amazed with the fact that a liger really exists. It has been my benta points and pang-bangka kapag usapan na ng “describe yourself”. I would not say much basta sabihin ko lang Year of the Tiger and Leo ako so go figure gaano ka-strong ang personality ko.

IMOHO, ilan sa 6.52 bilyon na tao kaya ang may combination na Chinese sign + Zodiac sign = living animal? Assume natin 1% year of the Tiger and the birthdate falls between July 22-August 22 but ilan sa kanila ang nakaka-alam na may liger/tigon pala?

• August 18

Hindi ko ina-announce ang birthday ko. Hinde, hinde, hindeeee! (Pero sa mga kaibigan, kapamilya at kapuso na may mabubuting kalooban that will give me anything so they will always be remembered, hindi po ako mahirap kausap). How many people would actually have a co-worker na ka-birthday nya? Hindi nga lang same year but still, same date. Yes, hindi naman ito unique kasi sabi nga sa statistics merong 3 times 60 minutes times 24 hours na bata ang nadadagdag sa Pilipinas kada araw (hindi pa kasama yung twins, triplets, quadruplets sa computation). Eh paano if we narrow down ang criteria to: katabi mo ng workstation, kasama mo sa team, same school, same course, same area ang tinitirhan nyo at kasing byuti and brains mo din? (ok ba Sheila?)

• Taurus + Leo = 4 relationships

Relationship Number 1 : Tatay at Nanay ko – May 9 at August 1

Relationship Number 2 : Cynthia at ako – hindi kami hetero ha, friendship is considered a relationship

Relationship Number 3 : Ed at ako – as discussed in RN 2, friends

Relationship Number 4 : Ed at wife Emily – this explains RN 3.

Si Ed ang isa sa mga new friends ko during my US-AEP days. Ang unique sa taong ito mag-aanounce ng mga importanteng event before or on the day itself. Nalaman ko ang birthday nya last week of April and I jokingly said that mukhang magkakasundo kami citing RN 1 and 2. O di ba?

Sige para sa mga kontra, eh ano naman ang chance na ang pakasalan ni Ed (na Taurus nga) ay Leo din? Nakilala ko lang si Emily two weeks ago at wala akong idea kung anong birthday nya. Surprise, surprise, surprise – August 19! (kung napaaga ang labor ng nanay nya baka August 18 din sya). Joke ko nga si Ed, siguro kaya bigla sila pakasal kasi kinukwentuhan ko sya about RN 1 and 2. (BTW, the day before his wedding lang sya nag-annnounce na ikakasal na sya). Tell me how two people find each other in a world that's full of strangers. You've got to believe in magic, something's stronger than the moon above coz it's magic when two people fall in love…

Ang galing di ba? Coincidence siguro pero ganun lang ka-simple. It's not really what I am but the people around me are the ones that are making me unique. I really look forward to seeing if meron pa idadagdag sa listahan. Ganun lang kababaw at kahit pa by year 2040 when there will be 13.8 million people in NCR (out of the 141 million in the Philippines), masasabi ko pa rin na unique ako.

Ikaw, paano mo masasabi na unique ka?

6:13 pm - 5 hours and 30 minutes have passed from the time I started typing up to saving the draft. May nadagdag na 990 babies...

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

I've Learned

I've learned -
that you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.

that no matter how much I care,
some people just don't care back.

that it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.

that it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.

that you can get by on charm for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.

that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do
but to the best you can do.

that it's not what happens to people that's important. It's what they do about it.

that you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

that no matter how thin you slice it,
there are always two sides.

that it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

that it's a lot easier
to react than it is to think.

that you should always leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

that you can keep going
long after you think you can't.

that we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

that either you control your attitude
or it controls you.

that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first,
the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.

that heroes are the people who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

that learning to forgive takes practice.

that there are people who love you dearly,
but just don't know how to show it.

that money is a lousy way of keeping score.

that my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.

that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.

that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.

that true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

that maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.

that you should never tell a child their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating, and what a tragedy it would be
if they believed it.

that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny,
but people you aren't related to
can take care of you and love you
and teach you to trust people again.
Families aren't biological.

that no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.

that no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

that our background and circumstances
may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

that sometimes when my friends fight,
I'm forced to choose sides even when I don't want to.

that just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.

that sometimes you have to put
the individual ahead of their actions.

that we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.

that two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

that no matter how you try to protect
your children, they will eventually get hurt
and you will hurt in the process.

that there are many ways of falling
and staying in love.

that no matter the consequences,
those who are honest with themselves
get farther in life.

that no matter how many friends you have,
if you are their pillar you will feel lonely
and lost at the times you need them most.

that your life can be changed
in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.

that even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you,
you will find the strength to help.

that writing, as well as talking,
can ease emotional pains.

that the paradigm we live in
is not all that is offered to us.

that credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

that the people you care most about in life
are taken from you too soon.

that although the word "love"
can have many different meanings,
it loses value when overly used.

that it's hard to determine where to draw the line
between being nice and not hurting people's feelings
and standing up for what you believe.

copyrights to: Kathy Kane Hansen